I Didn't Bite Anyone Yesterday

You know, this blogging every day business is hard.

Especially for someone like me...nothing interesting happens to me. Usually.

I alluded to a post I couldn't publish yesterday because it was too personal. Well, it still is; but the story behind it kind of figures into this one.

Let me start by saying, wine in a box is a great thing. It is very economical (5 liters for less than $15, usually). It stays fresh in that miraculous little bag inside that streamlined box once you open it. At least that's what the hype on the outside of the box says.

See, that normally isn't an issue at my house. Once I poke out the little circle on the side, extract the little tap, and pull off that adorable little silver, uh, thingy that keeps it from leaking, the box is empty within 3 days. Sometimes quicker than that.

It's all because of the box's worst feature: you can't see how much you are drinking. With a bottle of wine I know that once it is empty I should stop. Well, if it is one of those big bottles. If it is one of the little bottles, I can have another one and then I should stop.

It doesn't help that my wine glass is actually a 20 ounce water goblet. That way, I don't have to get up as often to refill.

Saturday night my husband went to bed around 9 pm. Both the kids were out and I was left all alone. By the time Tennessee was done humiliating Memphis I was having hot flashes...an unfortunate byproduct of me drinking wine. I parked myself in front of the computer, cranked up the Elvis Costello channel on Pandora, and started trolling the interwebs.

I'm a horrible storyteller, ya'll.

Cut to Monday. I get home from work. I take a shower and get all freshened up (we call that taking a canoe ride, by the way...it refers to an old douche commercial where 2 ladies are in a canoe talking about freshening up). Then I settle down to the computer for a little catch up.

I was thrilled to see that I had a comment from someone new. She said she would be interested to know if I had bitten anyone on my first day back to work. WTF? Now I'm like, I have a crazy commenter...I'm so cool!!!

So I click on her name and check her out. I see her blog name and think, I've heard of that. I go to the blog and see by her blogroll that she too follows The Bloggess. That must be where I have heard of her blog. I read the first post. It's really funny. I read the post before that and think...whoa, she totally stole this. I know I have read parts of this somewhere, a long time ago. When I get to the end I read the comments. Guess who made a comment there at 11 pm Saturday night? Yep, that would be me. I totally do not remember doing that. Luckily, it wasn't a totally inappropriate comment, or too terribly written. I just don't remember writing it. But I said that I planned on biting a coworker when I returned to work on Monday, so her comment now made perfect sense. Here's her post. That should clear up any confusion.

I didn't go to bed until 2 am that morning. Then I woke up at 6:30 in a total panic. Although I did not remember commenting on Christine's blog, I did remember posting on facebook. On one friend's wall I posted that I had had a dream about him the night before. That was true, but it would have been better suited to a personal email. On another friend's wall I responded to her reaction to the House vote on Health Care. And to her friend's reaction to her reaction. They all agreed with each other; suffice it to say that I did not. And I was drunk, ya'll.

I will be the first to admit that I can get a little obnoxious whilst intoxicated. If I am under stress when said intoxication occurs (say, after my father's memorial service) I can get really obnoxious. And if my husband isn't around to kind of rein me in...well, I can get, um, I don't even know what to call that.

And I know better than to get drunk and start typing. It has bitten me in the ass before. I usually stick to playing Know It All on boxerjam. That game moves too fast for any chatting. I just say all my obnoxious comments to the monitor and no one is the wiser.

In the end it all turned out to be fine. When Dg wanted to know about the dream, I wrote him an email. And I had had the presence of mind to send Suzi a personal message on fb and apologize preemptively about my posts. She responded this morning by telling me that they weren't out of line...that I was entitled to my opinion, even if that opinion was wrong LOL.

Dodged another bullet.