Saturday, June 27, 2009

She is broken

My weather girl is STILL holding her umbrella. And I am pretty sure she should be in her bikini by now.

The heat index is around 105, so we are putting up hay. And, again, when I say "we", I mean I have the most important job of all--air conditioner monitor. 72.9 is a little on the high side, but I actually had to go put my socks on, so I think it is cooler at the computer. I am also doing the important job off feeding stinky hay hands. Chicken kebabs! Potato salad! Cupcakes!! They came in for a drink before delivering the first trailer load, and, oh mylanta, they smell bad.

...For Dummies

I am not even through the second chapter of Wine For Dummies and I have come to the conclusion it is a lost cause. I should just stick to my cheap ole box o'wine because I like it. There are undoubtedly lots of really good wines out there, but I don't think I would know them if they came up to me and dribbled down the front of my shirt. Tannic and acidic, mouth aromas, spicy, earthy, hardness, firmness. I forget what we're talking about. Oh, yeah.

Chapter 1 tells me to slow down and pay attention. Huh. You don't know me very well, do you (in the immortal words of Bugs Bunny). I'll keep slogging through, but the person who owned this book first highlighted some of the stangest things:

I wonder if I really need to remember the retronasal passage is the nose for wine. I hope there's not gonna be a quiz.

Friday, June 26, 2009


Yes, it's Friday, and you know what that means, right? Fajitas--pronounced fah-JI-tahs. Though we had "flat-iron steak" (which I am pretty sure is flank steak) on the grill last night along with the gorgonzola penne that only Chance (the dog) and I would eat. Chris wrapped his up in a tortilla and drowned it in sour cream, so I think we should re-institute Friday pizza night.

I was wondering about the memo my employer sent out before my 2 week time out, informing me that my paycheck would be a day late; my poor German colleagues won't get paid until the 3rd! They said not to worry, it's not a sign of insolvency or anything. It's just that they will save millions of dollars, or euros, by deferring some blah blah blah, but everything is okay. It made me think of all those women who go on Maury and swear that this guy here, he's the daddy of my baby. I am positive, I just know that he is. And you know what? He never is. I watched a whole hour of this garbage and not once was this guy the daddy. No matter how much she swore he was. I'm afraid Hippe, or whoever repalced him, or the guy that replaced him, is blowing smoke up my you know where.

And, no, I don't usually watch Maury Povich. But it is summer break, and it tends to be on in my house every afternoon. And it's like a car wreck or something. I just can't look away. There seems to really only be 2 kinds of Maury show--who's my baby's daddy and is this pretty woman male or female. I know! But I can't help myself

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Day 4

Well, I have gotten thru 4 days of unenjoyment--celebrated by mowing for 4 hours and getting a sunburn.

Hey, speaking of the number 4! I had 4 visitors to my blog today. I asked my bff if she happened to check it out on 4 separate occassions today and sadly she said no. Now, I realize the point is for people to read this, but, I don't know. How am I going to make fun of ya'll if you're reading over my shoulder? Still no comments, though. Guess that's a good thing; I'm kinda sensitive.

So, bff and I partook of the vino and chatted on facebook last night. That was fun. She was thoroughly enjoying the whole reconnecting thing and I was telling her this guy that I was soooo
in love with in hs friended me and I was just beside myself and she said, "Isn't that the guy who saw me in my bra in your swimming pool?" And I was, like, "Huh?" And that kicked loose some cobwebs, and now I have a new friend on facebook and I'm afraid to ask him if he saw my friend in her bra. I get really excited about finding these old friends, then I don't know what to do. I want to go, "Do you really remember me?" I just feel so flattered.

I had lots of good ideas for posts while I was mowing, but they were all terribly inappropriate. No one wants that kind of information. And I keep reminding myself that I may have to actually look for a job someday very soon, so I try to be mindful of what kind of trail I am leaving out here. Hate to lose a job because I blogged about my failed bladder correction surgery. But it's a good story, let me tell you. Dang, I'm gonna have to tell that one.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Miss my Dad

With all this unemployed crap going on, I really miss having my dad around to give me advice. He would understand all the corporate-speak going on now, although he was more fluent in the Italian version. He still understood the German-version that I am getting. I never asked him for advice when I had the chance, and now I really, really need it. I can't believe it has been almost 4 years. I still think I see him sometimes. It's weird. And sad, because my mom has been gone for, omg, just about 14 years, and the only time I think I see her is when I look at old photos of myself. But, I see older men in town and something about them reminds me of him. And I just get so sad.

I was all boohoo writing this, but the dvr just switched over to the Big Joe Polka Show, and, well, you just can't be sad when there is polka music on! I need another cup o'wine and a good polka, that's what I need. I hope that hot guy in the leiderhosen is on tonight. No one plays a dulcimer quite like him!

Friday, June 19, 2009


This wine was also a disappointment last night. Yes, I know I shouldn't be chilling it in the freezer. Patience may be a virtue, but not a virtue that I possess. Come to think of it, I'm not sure that there are any virtues I possess, other than having an honest vagina. (I heart bloggess).

I did a little better with this one--it evidently should have been consumed one year ago, instead of two. I guess I just have an immature palate. Sheesh, how many times have I heard that? So for those of you keeping track, I wasted $16.98 on undrinkable wine yesterday. Oh, plus tax.

And here's the tuneage for today. Wouldn't play in the disc changer, but it sounds fine on the desktop. Actually, it's pretty good. And yes, someday I might learn how to control my pictures.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Picture Overload

There are a couple of things to note on this bottle. First is Nouveau. According to Al Gore's Interwebs, the first bottling of the beaujolais season is the Nouveau and Beaujolais Nouveau day is the 3rd Thursday in November, making the B.N. perfect for Thanksgiving. You are supposed to drink it right away. So kindly note the 2007 on the bottle. Ummm. The first sip was--okay.
The second was icky. Yes, there is cork in my glass, but it didn't help. Oh, you may also notice the $6.99 price tag from the clearance barrel at the liquor store. I was so proud of myself. I promptly ordered Wine for Dummies. 75 cents on And I just realized there is no cent sign on the keyboard. There used to be, I am sure, when I learned to type on a Selectric. I bet it was on the 6 key. I don't know what that thing is on the 6 now, but I never ever use it. I would, however, use a cent sign. Occassionally.

Ahh, my fridge:

Why 2 box o' wines, you ask? That one on the left will run out, probably sooner rather than later, and those bad girls take a while to chill. Why 2 kinds of milk, you ask? Boy, you're nosy.
The skim milk (blue cap) we drink. The whole milk (red cap) is the goat's milk. No, not goat milk. Milk for the goat to drink. Her name is Tinkerbell and her mama is a bitch. It's just a little mastitis. I know it hurts, but dang. The other 2 kids died right away. We've been bottle feeding her for about 3 weeks or so now. She's a sweetie. And when I say we, I mean that I did it for the first week or so, but school is out and Chris is already up at 7. And my husband has this special rapport with goats, so she really enjoys getting her night feeding from him. And, the last time I did it it had been raining forever and (true farm girl I am) I wore my crocs out there and wound up with a foot full of juicy goat poo/mud. < shiver>

Can't get much more generic than this one. Yes--4 discs of 70's rock, but they are all alternate versions; not the ones you heard on the radio. So you know them, but not exactly. I got a whole box of cd's in the mail today. My 2 weeks of unemployment will be put to good use, I am sure!

Friday, June 12, 2009


No wine for me today because I have to work. What's the point of having your Friday on Tuesday if your Monday is going to be on Friday? So now Saturday is Tuesday and oh my god do you even know what I'm talking about? I can't turn off italics!

Hey, now it's bold. WTF?

Hmmm. Listened to Elvis Costello The Juliet Letters. Kind of a downer. Perfect for a Friday turned Monday.

I fried chicken for the menfolk to eat while I'm in the hole tonight. Marinated it in hot sauce for 24 hours. In other words, I'm not eating it. This has got to be the most boring blog ever! Wish I was a star wars geek so I would have something useful to talk about, like this guy.

The one redeeming quality about working tonight? I got a 2 cd set called Stardust with 45 big band hits. I can torment my co-workers so we can all be miserable about me having to work tonight. Win win.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


The Big Man has a job!! Yay for us!!

He has worked about 10 days since the beginning of the year, and let me tell you, union wages are a lot more than unemployment. If he can manage not to get fired tomorrow, we should be home free.

Just in time for me to draw 2 weeks of unemployment. Next year he will claim one child and I will claim one child so I can draw as much as he does. I only get $385, and he gets, well, more than that. After taxes he gets $444. I haven't received my first check yet, since I got my waiting week in back in April. After paying taxes for 25 years I am so excited to be getting my, it's a lie. I can't even type it. I'm scared to death. We can't both be unemployed!

I vote he works full time (and all that that implies) and I stay home and cook and play with all my books and cds. Once the kids are grown and out of the house, I may even think about starting to keep it clean.

Yeah, I don't believe me, either.

Box of wine tonight: Vella Blush, 5l for $10.99.

I traded for 14 cds this week, but they haven't arrived yet. You (Betsy) are in for a treat!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Spoiler Alert!!

Okay, I haven't finished the book yet, but Charlotte Lucas is...a ZOMBIE!!

I know! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is hilarious!

And okay, she isn't a total zombie yet, but she is stricken and she is fantasizing about eating Mr. Darcy's large brain!! Awesome.