Monday, October 19, 2009


Ok, I'll admit it. I love them.

It's kind of funny, really, since one of my favorite pastimes is to take a red pencil to the local paper. Any written document, actually. Or store signage. Or billboards.

Bad grammar is all around us, my friends. It drives me nuts. But it is good for my self esteem. I feel superior to those offenders. Yet every day I stop by to look at the lolcats and their horrifying grammar. And I crack up.

It's funny when somebody new shows up and has a tizzy about the "typos". Most of the regulars handle it well--they gently try to explain what is going on. They are a very friendly little community over there. I feel like I know many of them, even though I don't participate.

Well, that's not completely true. I did my best to rescue someone who had *splorted* at a particularly cute kitty. There is a whole routine involved with a crash cart, floofy blankies, and chocolate. Also scooping up brains and rinsing them with water. I had read it a hundred times, so when I noticed that someone had got lost in the shuffle, I jumped right in.

It's a lot harder than it looks, spelling that atrociously! I wasn't very good at it, but I did manage to scoop it all up and fasten it back in with duct tape. I felt like a hero the rest of the day.

I must admit that I am pretty rusty on comma usage these days. I think they have changed the rules since the 70s and 80s--just like they did with math. I still can't figure out how they managed to come up with another way to add and subtract; I don't know how to do it.

Oh, I can get the right answer, it's just not the "right" way. Some kind of nonsense about banks and borrowing; I'm a little foggy on the details (I may have quit paying attention when my kids were trying to explain it while I was doing the math in my head). And algebra is taught completely differently, but I can figure out x just about every time. And I can still f o i l (glad to see they didn't change that one--mnemonics are awesome!).

See, now is that punctuation right? Why don't they have punctuation check? Hey, don't look at me--I have no idea how to do it. But I expect a cut if someone actually does figure it out.

Saturday, October 3, 2009



Yes, that's when the game comes on. You know. The Game.

It's sad, really, but when you live out in the boonies you have to make your own entertainment. I usually work every weekend so my homies are forced to entertain themselves. But since I recently had surgery, I will be home for the next 5 glorious weeks! And that means that I am the entertainment.

There are certain things that would never be watched on our tv. But if I want to watch The Big Joe Polka Show they will let me. Then they will watch me. And laugh. But I don't care, 'cause Momma loves her some polka music.

They also never, ever watch sports, except for the occasional NASCAR race (aka nap time) and sometimes the super bowl. But tonight, at 6;45, for the first time since I don't know when, I can watch my beloved Tennessee Volunteers on tv. And they will hopefully win.

My family, meanwhile, will be tuned in to ChristyTV. They will laugh and point and roll their eyes when I yell at the tv. They will pretend to ignore me when I sing Rocky Top at the top of my lungs every time The Pride of the Southland Marching Band breaks into song. But inside I know they will be singing along.

See, most kids learn the alphabet song or Twinkle Twinkle for their first song. Not my kids. The first song they learned was Rocky Top. (The second song was You Never Even Called Me By My Name by David Alan Coe--true story). And they will root along side me. All the while mocking me. It's what we do. And I love it.