Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Feel Vindicated

I've been struggling lately. You see, I've been wondering if maybe I am crazy. But, then I think that the fact that I am even capable of wondering if I am crazy or not is proof that I am not crazy.

See, I have been having these thoughts, just random thoughts, of crashing my car. You know, running into oncoming traffic or slamming into a guard rail or something along those lines. It doesn't happen a lot, but it is increasing in number.

And it doesn't really scare me, not like the time that I had the thought that I would just like to go to sleep and never wake up. Just sleep forever and ever. That one scared me and I went to the doctor I was seeing for my back injury and he told me that the douche quack that put me on antidepressants to raise my pain level tolerance (which is actually quite high on it's own) should have either kept me on them or helped me get off them, not just quit prescribing them. Dr. Douche:  don't go see him.

But today I read that The Bloggess has these thoughts of driving off cliffs and bridges and she is probably the sanest person I (don't really) know. So, there you have it...I'm not crazy. And I suddenly want Mexican food.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Wouldn't You?

It's kinda blurry, but the use by date is 06/04. This is a jar of cherries, and I needed one for my Tom Collins.
Yes, it is 3:00, but I have to get up at 3:00 in the a.m. (did you know they had a 3 in the morning, too?) so I need to get started now.

The jar popped when I opened it, and they smelled fine. They are not quite as red as they probably once were, but neither am I. Whatever that means. So, into my Christmas Tree Drink they went. Yum. If this is the last post I ever write, please know that I enjoyed that drink a lot.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Well... say that I do not love this new layout is putting it mildly.

But dear, sweet Beth could not read my green font.

The name of this layout is wine, but the glass o'wine seems to have been lost in translation. Why should I even care? I hardly even post anymore, so what the whoop, huh?

Ok, I will leave 'er be for the time being. She may grow on me.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Apologies

Okay, I have so much to apologize for, I really don't even know where to begin.

First, Rae...I'm sorry that I have not mailed you your present. I can't find it. True story. When Buckethead was here last month and heard about it she said she wanted one so I looked all over hell and half of Georgia for it, to no avail. It will turn up one of these days and boy won't you be surprised.

Secondly, Boy of Buckethead, aka the Boy Who is Not My Godson Because I Cannot Be Entrusted With Anyone's Spiritual Care, I really did not forget your birthday. I was at work when I thought of it and then I came home and drank too much (no, really) and forgot to call you. And then the same exact thing happened the next day. And by the third day I was embarrassed. And on the fourth day I really did forget. I'm sorry.

There are a couple more apologies I should make now, but I wouldn't really mean them. I really think everyone in the tri-county, possibly quad-county, area is stupid and a horrible driver and they should just get the fuck out of my way. I am in a bad mood and I do not want to be fucked with, capisce? Now get the fuck out of my way and leave me all the good parking spaces at Krogers. And Kmart. Go fucking crazy out on the west side of town, I don't go there.

Oy...somebody owes me an apology, I think. All those fucking meteorologists that promised me the fucking storm of the century...where's the devastation and destruction, huh? I stocked up on propane and chef boyardee ravioli and prepared to hunker down, and what did I get? Half a fucking inch of ice and even less snow. Whop-dee-fucking-doo. And my power only went out for 4 hours. From 9:00 pm to 1 am, when I was sleeping anyway. Thanks a lot, fuckwads.

Ok, well, that feels good. Now I need a Tom Collins (yes, I have temporarily switched to's yummy). I hear there is another A to Z Challenge planned for April and I am looking forward to it. Instead of trying to be funny and get lots of people to follow me, I think I will be really mean and try to alienate every one. Less stressful for me that way.