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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?

Oh wait...there isn't any good news.

And yet I am drinking.  Hmmm.

I told y'all you were invited, and you are. But see all those spices surrounding that eensy weensy little wine glass? They are there because I have mice in my drawers. Yes ma'am. And in my cabinets. I don't have time to whine about my good-for-nothing liver cuz I gots me a mouse to kill.

And some wine to drink. When it is gone...well I guess I am done. At least for the time being. And if it is really bad? Well then, I am having one hell of a party, mouse poop or no. See you there.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Free to Good Home...

One gently used bag o'wine (formerly box o'wine; box was removed for easier refrigerator storage).
New owner must promise to drink from a large wine glass and think of me.

That's right friends, my liver has betrayed me. I won't bore you with all the details; just know that for the time being I am wineless. And vodkaless. And ginless. And did I mention NO WINE????!!?

I would be totally convinced that life is not worth living if a certain statin that I began taking a month ago was not suspected at coercing my liver into trying to kill me. I will give it 2 weeks and if things don't look any better, you are all invited to my house and we will all drink and drink and drink until I am dead.

It may take a while.