How to Make a Gimlet (with Pictures!)

So, here is how a wino with a poorly stocked bar mixes a fancy cocktail:

First you need to assemble your ingredients

Now, assemble your, um, mixing paraphernalia

That's what I am using as a shot glass these days, because I have lost my Graceland jigger. It once held a fake rose and was hugged by a teddy bear. I believe it was a (lame) Valentine's gift. Note the time, please.

This is now my cocktail shaker.

Well, I don't really eat salads, so I don't need to mix my own dressing, do I? All I can say is thank god I didn't throw it away.

So, the recipe on the lime juice bottle says to combine 1 ounce of lime juice

with 2 ounces of vodka or gin

in a cocktail shaker

My, that doesn't look like very much. I'd better double it. Then you strain it over ice.

See that garlic salt container? That was going to be my shaker, and I have a feeling that it would not have tasted too good. Again, thank god I didn't throw that vinaigrette bottle away.

Seven minutes later...I have the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. Really. It's like kerosene. Or maybe turpentine. Yuck. My throat and esophagus are on fire.

Ah, that's better.